First Post

....A very overweight woman wandered into the gym. She caught my attention for a couple of reasons: one, her sheer size, the other because other members would see her as someone who didn’t belong or fit in! It was 1986 and I was working for a well-known fitness chain. The typical standard of for a gym in the mid eighties could be compared to a nightclub with fitness equipment. You didn’t see people like her in gyms—she was just too big and looked completely different from a typical gym rat of the time. So when I first saw her I was impressed. I remember looking at her and thinking to myself, “Wow, this woman has guts! Walking into a place like this knowing full well that she is going to be scrutinized, criticized, and judged by others.” I was also intrigued. (Being a person who has spent years taking care of my personal appearance, and finding a sense of value in that, I take interest in looking at others’ appearances. I don’t judge, but instead try to understand what makes people not take care themselves. I’ve learned that the reasons are often complex and multi-layered.

As I watched her go through the tour with the salesgirl—who was basically showing off the equipment and trying to sell her a gym membership—I realized that I could in some way identify with her. I could see in her eyes that she was feeling insecure, vulnerable, and lost. As I looked around I noticed how other people looked at her, and puzzled, “What is she doing here?” I could see that the woman was very, very uncomfortable and that she wasn’t really taking in any of the information. Ultimately, at the end of the sales dance, she signed up for a membership—$19 a month—for life.

A week or so later she returned to the gym. As she approached the same piece of equipment she was shown how to use in her orientation she found somebody already on the machine. She looked around a little confused, obviously feeling out of place. I assume because she really didn’t know where to begin, or where to turn for help, she just gave up, turned around, and left.
It was the moment she left that I saw she was completely let down; that she had just given in, and resigned herself to the fact that change for her was hopeless. It’s an interesting thing when you see dejection in someone’s eyes or you see the wind leave their sails —witnessing something escape somebody is very noticeable. I imagined her saying before coming in that day, “I need to do this! I need to change. I need to lose weight. I need to feel worthy, valued, and desired. I need to wake up and feel good. I need help.” And, after seeing or hearing an ad for a reputable gym that promised to be there to help people who are most in need achieve a new life, she decided to take one more shot at it, to trust the ad, and to put herself out on a limb to finally accomplish what has eluded her all these years. “After all this might be my final chance!” Consequently, having no success, she left, knowing that there really was no one who cared about her and no company who would deliver on its promises. It was all about signing the contract and getting her money. “I give up.” God knows what happens next! She never came back.

It was a painful scenario to watch but it triggered something in me. My thought at the time was, “I wish I wasn’t so chicken to approach her myself and offer to help her; to tell her that I understood how she felt and that I, too, have felt that way many times before.” I wished I had spoken to her and said, “Hey, listen. Let’s do this together. We can do this.” But I didn’t! Many times in my life growing up I often wished that somebody was there to support me or guide me because I always felt like I was falling. I always felt the wind leave my sails. I had an overwhelming feeling of dejection and alienation, and I often wished that somebody would come along and share something with me that would help me feel better about myself. I never got that encouragement or guidance which makes it easier for me to identify those feelings and needs in others. Despite the fact that I did not act on my intentions, what that powerful experience did, was give me the understanding of what I would do with the rest of life. I realized that there were a lot of people like that woman—people who need someone to understand them, to support and encourage them, to show them that there is always a way through the tough times, and that with the right amount of positive guidance, success can be for everyone. If I needed those things in my life, I was sure others did too. I decided then and there that I was going to do something about it. And, as they say, the rest is history.

In the beginning, the business was basically a concept. I knew what I wanted to accomplish but I wasn’t quite sure how to accomplish it. I had no idea how to really target the people I intended to help; after all I was only 19 and had no business background. I decided to place an ad in the paper for individuals interested in personal training. Why personal training? Because I knew the invaluable lessons I learned through the discipline and dedication of fitness training. I felt that if I could convey the power of those lessons to other people then their lives would be empowered and changed forever.

Through the ad I received just one reply. I set up an appointment for a one-on-one consultation so I could discover a bit about this person: her goals and level of commitment. Colleen was interested in working with me to rehabilitate an injury she had sustained in a car accident. I remember telling her that the goal to rehab the shoulder was important but to accomplish that she must first commit to other changes as well. Changes such as persevering as she had never done before, especially when in the past her efforts had fallen short. Changes like putting her trust in someone else, but also trusting herself enough to let herself follow the guidance. I said to her then, as I still say to my clients today, “The goal here is to change you. You have physical injuries and we’ll get over them but the only way those changes will come about and be permanent is if we work on developing you.” After twelve weeks of encouragement, support, education, and a consistent emphasis on proper nutrition and training she succeeded in her first goal of overcoming the injury (she was now much stronger than she was before the accident). Her second major accomplishment was that she grew to appreciate the power she had within herself to create change and to accomplish all she imagined by harnessing her desires and her belief in herself. (This power was always there she had just never tuned into or trusted it.) Test case Number One—100% success.
Back in those days (1986) my personal training fee for one month was $275. I certainly did not get into this business for the money. It seemed there wasn’t a lot of demand for this type of education. Thank God for passion! I also had no idea what my worth to others was. I didn’t know how valuable or invaluable I could be to them; this too became an education for me.

Clients were slow in coming at first. My second client, Gloria, was the second, and last, client from an ad. She was extremely overweight. Through an assessment I determined that most of her weight was coming from fat. I was able to help her see that it was not weight that would kill her as much as what the weight consisted of that would. In teaching her this and applying the same principles that I taught Colleen, Gloria, too was successful in bringing her body fat percentage down to an excellent level. Her success proved to be my success and the referral doors started to swing open.

Gloria’s friend, Charlene, was my first referral. I was a little nervous about working with her because I would have to live up to a reputation, something I never really considered I had. I met Charlene at a local pizza parlor. She was a typical female struggling with her weight. She had tried a number of fad diets and had lost a lot of weight only to gain it all back and more. This yo-yo cycle repeated itself many times. I reassured her that true love of oneself is not a number on a scale but more an acceptance of who they are on the inside. And, that when a person finally accepts herself as worthy and valuable, she tends to start treating herself in a valuable way. By trusting this, the weight would come off. She would want to take care of herself because she valued her life first, not how she presented herself. I told her that many people go to desperate lengths to change their exterior only to realize that it doesn’t make them truly happy. She started weeping. Fearing that I had said something to offend her, I started to comfort her. What she divulged shaped my future in this business. She told me how she had already gone to an extreme to feel good about her self; she had paid $20,000 for gastric bypass surgery. She lost 85 pounds yet instead of feeling elated and confident, she felt insecure and desperate. She slowly started eating again and eventually gained back over 120 pounds. That was why she was seeking my help. She considered this attempt with me her last one. Suicide was around the corner for her if she could not get things together. Upon hearing this, I felt like I had stuck my foot in my mouth. However, I also became aware of the many faces of pain people wear and what drives some people to extreme ends to mask their pain.

I made a deal with Charlene that should she accept the “challenge” that I laid before her, and commit 100%. In return, I would place equal value in our partnership and work with her until she had risen above the negativity. She agreed. Her change was incredible. In a mere twelve weeks she lost 25 pounds of fat. But, more importantly, she came to discover more about herself than she had in prior years. She learned the valuable lesson of not quitting regardless of how hard the road may seem. She experienced what it really meant when we say, “Anything worth having is worth working for.” I am proud to say that Charlene accomplished much more than she bargained for. In appreciation of my support and friendship, she referred me to many other women like herself who needed what I had to offer. Charlene became my very great friend and to this day enjoys a life she is in control of.

Through Charlene my business began to grow. My clientele was made up of women. The compliments I received were related the relationship I had with them. I made them feel special. I believed in them. I lifted them up and shared with them that that they were able to do things, any thing, as long as they wanted it. I became their confidant, their motivator, their mentor, their friend, and their coach. To them, I represented a lot of things they were not getting at home in their marriages or family lives. It’s what I became known for.

My philosophy and approach have not changed. The way I support and help people has remained consistent. Some of my methods have changed, however, because I’ve grown and learned. I now have the confidence and tools that over twenty years of history and success in the fitness industry have brought.

Because of my success with my clients and their belief in me, a teacher in Vancouver approached me. She became inspired by my teachings and my own journey through life and asked if I’d speak to her class. This was a tough decision for me, as I did not feel confident speaking in front of anyone. As a matter of fact, I did everything in my power to place myself in the shadows rather than in front of a crowd! One-on-one conversations were fine, but speaking to a group of people was nerve-racking. I also doubted my ability to share my story. “What do I have to say to these kids that will make a difference in their lives? Certainly, they don’t want to be learning from me.” I mused. But then I thought how I wished I had heard someone like myself share their insights with me as a child, so I accepted the invitation. I spoke about “Better Choices”. The message was how everybody is valuable from the garbage man to the Prime Minister, and that we all have a part to play none greater than the other just different ones.

As I listened to myself speak, I wondered, “Where is that coming from?” It was almost as if I had this wisdom inside me, but yet I had no idea what it was until I spoke it. I was learning as I was teaching. Prior to this speaking engagement, I had a vision of what I think people wanted (and needed)—to be loved, appreciated, valued, and to be told they are accepted under any circumstance. Everyone wants to feel successful. All I really wanted to do was help others see that they already are successes. I told the students, “You know what? The best way to success is just to feel you are successful. The quickest way to the stars is to become one.” And as I spoke, I noticed the kids’ engagement and I realized that I was reaching them. They were identifying with my life and my experiences. My personal battles and how I overcome them were giving the students hope. I see now that my initial insecurity and my lack of belief that I had anything valuable to say stemmed from the abuse I had as a child; being reminded constantly of how useless and invaluable I was. But what this experience showed me was that if people listen to half of what I say and it makes them feel good, then despite my own discomfort, it was worthwhile. I can motivate others to reach new heights.

My focus has always been about empowering individuals, changing lifestyles, and helping people to lose weight and eat properly. The women I worked with dealt with many issues: insecurity, low self-esteem and confidence, lack of control, image disorders, and inconsistent commitment, to name a few. I rarely had male clients. (I think its’ their egos that get in the way. Feeling like they need help is something most men don’t want to do.) Within six years, my client base grew larger than I could handle. I started thinking there had to be a better way to support all these people but not take it all on myself. Concurrently, a lot of my clients were telling me that I needed to be working on a bigger scale; that there were more people out there that needed to hear about my business and my path to success. I thought, “How could that even be possible?” And that’s how the Transformation Challenge came to be—a program where I could support 100 clients a month, rather than just ten. If I created a team we could offer people more than just one-on-one training. We could offer things like mentor meetings, classes, workshops, life coaching, personal training, and many other support systems to encourage change. We would draw on our experience and success and also the support of those in the Challenge. This idea is what brought us to where we are today. We have seen a lot of change and growth in people. We have reached many more people. I am proud to say that for every person who has followed our program the success rate is 100%.

An personal invitation
If you are interested to learn how you, too, can achieve a higher level of wellness then please visist, www.bodiesnmotion.com and order my book. It's Just Your Life! What are you waitng for ...! This book is not about how much fat you can lose in a short period of time (although if you follow the principles in the book you will lose body fat). It is not about adding an inch to your biceps (although you will become physically fitter and stronger if you follow the guidelines outlined within). This book will educate and encourage you to make positive changes to your “diet” and exercise program. It will provide you the opportunity to examine and make changes in many other components of your lifestyle that contribute to a healthy, happy, and productive life. Enjoy the journey!

Sincerely,

John Xuereb